Mindset Check with Katanya Nova

Navigating Life with Emotional Mastery: Rebalancing Energies and Cultivating Flexibility

• Katanya Nova • Season 2 • Episode 6

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Do you ever feel like your emotions are controlling you instead of the other way around? Achieving emotional intelligence and self-awareness is crucial for navigating relationships and life in general. In this episode, we examine the Mindset Check model as the key to unlocking these essential skills. Balancing your masculine and feminine energy can significantly improve your personal and professional relationships, so listen in as we discuss how to identify and restore balance in your life.

Perfectionism can be incredibly damaging to relationships, and understanding the role of emotional intelligence can help us let go of those rigid standards. We explore how generational conditioning shapes our expectations and how to cultivate flexibility in our partnerships. Don't let perfectionism hold you back from truly connecting with others – learn how to appreciate your loved one's efforts and adapt to one another instead.

Finally, we delve into the impact of conditioning on our households and the need for self-management. Are you imposing unnecessary standards of order on yourself and your loved ones? Discover how to recognize when it's time to let go and allow your children to forge their own paths, focusing on emotional intelligence and respect within your relationships. Tune in and discover how to overcome life's obstacles by choosing happiness over hurtful experiences.

To learn more about how you can work with Katanya, go to www.katanyanova.com.

Speaker 1:

Let me teach you really quick Mindset check model. Again, it's centered around emotional intelligence, because my goal is for you to increase this intelligence right, emotional intelligence. But what does it really mean to be emotionally intelligent? What it really means is how well do you know yourself? right Now we have IQ.

Speaker 1:

Iq is the measurement of your intellect based on academic standards, and that applies especially if you're trying to create the next rocket ship or you're trying to be in the medical field and construction engineering all of that higher level intellect sciences. That high IQ fits right in. But for most average people, well, we deal with people every day. We can't get away from that. And still a lot of people have low emotional intelligence. Because this is something that has been around in business for a long time, especially if you're in leadership And I've. You know my background. I'm a business person. I've been a business person since I was 19. But technically, my first entrepreneurship journey was when I was five years old. I sold my sister's art to the neighborhood kids. But besides the point, i recognize that the application of emotional intelligence and the awareness of it is lacking in our personal lives. There's been a study UC Berkeley, i believe that they studied that, yes, iq is important, but the success indicator people with higher emotional intelligence actually have a higher success rate and experience in their professional careers as well as their personal relationships. I wanted to give you guys that background about emotional intelligence. But how I came about with mindset check is really more for your own personal journey, your own personal walk as you, independently. How do you, how well do you know yourself? And in this process of getting to know yourself, it's about your self-awareness of how high do you regard yourself, how aware are you with yourself, how do you manage yourself, what is your perception of other people? and how well do you, do you have a bigger influence on yourself beyond the community scope? Those are the elements of emotional intelligence. Now I've simplified this. I've simplified this process, at least for the individual who wants to start applying themselves in real time.

Speaker 1:

Emotional sorry. Mindset check. Mindset check what's really going on When you're triggered, you're provoked, a lot of people react. It's like a knee jerk reaction. But mindset check is again this recognition. Wait a minute. Mindset check. Am I aware of, really aware of, what's going on right now? Am I in my body? Is my head on straight for me to make a right decision Awareness.

Speaker 1:

Secondly, entunement. Let me get in tune with myself. How is my body feeling? What is my temperature feeling and looking like right now? Am I about to lose my temper? Is am I going to rage here pretty soon? Or, oh my gosh, i feel awful. I'm about to cry. What do I do? I'm going to take those moments, those micro moments. That makes a huge difference. That's really what it is. And then from there, when you choose the right path, all the time you apply yourself in real time, then you get better at it, and when you start to have a better relationship with yourself, then you have better relationships with others. I know how to use and utilize. This is about emotional awareness, emotional intelligence.

Speaker 1:

All of us have both masculine and feminine energy and it's being able to view yourself as a car. When is the right time to apply masculine energy And when is the right time to pull it back a little bit, especially for my gentlemen, for all of my man friends here And I'm going to go back to what I was saying about Sean's parents and their numerology sessions with me this morning But view yourself as a vehicle. Like you are your vehicle And all of the gears, or all of the little things, your dashboard, your tools. Most people don't realize that you have full control over that right. Masculine and feminine, both men and women. We both have both energies. By the way, it's just men have their superpowers when they apply more of their masculine energy because it supports their biological makeup, and it's the same thing for women. It's actually healthier for us to be in our feminine energy most of the time because it supports our biological makeup. If women are way more into their masculine energy, we actually release more cortisol, stress hormones, and that's why we add on additional weight. We get completely out of balance. Our estrogen level goes down and that's why it's good to slow down and no one to apply yourself, whether it is sort of. Where do you go? what gear do you shift? right For guys, if you do get too much into your feminine energy, it actually causes you to depression and your testosterone goes down.

Speaker 1:

And switching to your feminine energy doesn't mean that you're going to not be masculine, it's more so. Just being gentler, being more understanding, listening, caring that's really what feminine energy is. Now, feminine energy is just like I'm here I'm supportive, nurturing, caring. We all know what masculine energy is and masculine energy you need that for initiative, you need that for movement, you need that for its great in business, in a competitive marketplace, but at the same time, it can get highly toxic as well.

Speaker 1:

And again, it's about gauging yourself. There's always a gauge, there's always a range right, and I always share this with people, regardless what it is. I always show this range. Are you where, are you at your balance here? Let's just say this is my left hand, so let's just say this is masculine energy right here and this is feminine energy right here. And you're right here.

Speaker 1:

You have to be centered within your gauge in your car and then, in the right time, if you need to speed up right, if you need to speed up and be more competitive, then you're leaning over to your masculine energy. But it's always good to just write in that healthy center for yourself. And then, if you don't need to be competitive and have to hurry and execute and be that person that you show up for in business, or if you're an athlete right, especially if you're an athlete it's a lot of masculine energy right there. If you need to again stop sort of like taking your car through the scenic route and enjoying the beauty a little bit more and not being so much in a hurry and being patient. That's like the feminine energy. It's the same thing. How do you gauge this? in self-construing the vehicle? Oh, it's again. It's just knowing how to apply masculine energy, feminine energy. And, by the way, this is again.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to give you guys, awareness. We all are different temperatures and different personality types. Not everyone is andrutate. Oh god, that'd be a horrible place and world to live in if all men were andrutate, leaning over to this extreme masculinity, no remorse, no empathy. And, by the way, i'm going to give you another spectrum the narcissism spectrum.

Speaker 1:

Low narcissism, high narcissism, extreme narcissism over here, which is a little bit on the neurotic, psychotic types, but no, that actually narcissism. Narcissism is actually. All of us have narcissism, we need it. Confidence. It also falls into the spectrum of narcissism. It's just again. How do you interpret this energy?

Speaker 1:

The low narcissism are all on the sort of unhealthy spectrum of narcissism, because it's super low and they are your victims. They are. The woe is me. No one cares for me and no one loves me and I need a hand. I can't move, i can't do anything without anyone. That's low narcissism. I'm unworthy.

Speaker 1:

And then the healthy part is like yes, i know, i know, i'm confident, i know I can do this and I know myself well and I'm okay, i know when to gauge myself right. And you need that healthy dose of narcissism to be a leader, even to be in competitive sport, to even show up and do what you need to do in your daily lives. Because it's about identity. It's actually linked to self-identity of self-respect, self-confidence, self-esteem. And then you've got your extreme spectrum of narcissism that falls within that borderline personality disorder and then getting into once again like the psychopaths, the ones that really don't have empathy represents here. So again, where are you here? right, where are you here? where do you operate here? and how can you get into a healthy level of confidence in yourself, to where you are at least strong in self?

Speaker 1:

and so I did Sean's numerology reading, i think sometime last year, right, the questions Sean asked me when am I gonna die, sean? almost a year later, i'm doing Sean's mom and dad's numerology reading session and then within five minutes, sean's mom goes there's three things I want to know am I gonna win the lotto? when am I gonna die? and can I travel? I was like, well, the fruit didn't fall far from the tree and so I was laughing. We were actually all laughing, because Sean asked the same question as his mom did when am I gonna die?

Speaker 1:

don't worry about when you're gonna die, worry about living. But here's the thing a lot of people are alive but not living life, but are just waiting to die or stuck in the past and really like the living dead. One of the things is don't worry about dying, worry about being alive, worry about how you're gonna live your life. Right, ruby, really, when the timing is right. You know, when I meet with people, it's the time for that change, for that pivot from where you were, because Before you have this numerology reading and it's gonna take some time for you to digest too. And it's your path, it's your, your pace, you have free will. We have to feel alive. It's like people.

Speaker 1:

A lot of people are like the walking dead metaphorically, fellow gentlemen, if you really think about it, a lot of people are Zombies in their bodies. They're not living life, they're not enjoying life, they're just going through like the routine. And this is where, when people meet me, and a lot of times they're like that I miss out on life, i'm my, too old to sit too late and it's the same thing. It was such a Wonderful thing for Sean's parents to go. I want to live life. I still want to do this. I want to know if I can still do this. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. You have another 15, 20 years potentially, at least 15 years potentially. Live it like. Live your life How, like you've never lived before. You've been there, done that.

Speaker 1:

Don't worry about the trivial things in life. That's not going to produce good quality results for you, like Bickering over something and then getting caught up in the whirlwind Right. Getting caught up in the whirlwind of the trivial things. I share the example with my girls. When they were younger, something I had to overcome was The rooms being messy. I'm not a neat freak, i'm not. I'm not, i don't have OCD But it used to drive me crazy and it drove me crazy and I drove my girls crazy when they were younger Until I realized some. I am so bent out of shape about this and I'm driving my daughter's crazy. I need to let this go because It's taking away from good energy that I could be putting to better use One of the things I did one day, because it was always a challenge with my girls with just their clothes everywhere, stuff everywhere, and I'm always the one.

Speaker 1:

I just want to keep it neat, put things in its place when you're done right. And finally I just I gave up and One of the ways that I did it my exercise every day, when I walked into my house Whether there's a shoe in the middle of the living room floor, if there was a socks Somewhere where it didn't belong, i just looked at it and said, no, i'm not battling with you today, it's not my battle today, i'm leaving it there, right. And then I remember just one time I just opened one of my daughter's rooms and I just looked at it. It was. It was sort of why do I want to go to battle with that in her dialogue. I'm gonna live Seriously.

Speaker 1:

There are worse things in life than clothes on the floor. There's worse things in life than a dirty room And there's worse things in life. Why the hell am I losing my peace and driving everybody else crazy in my household Because I want things put away neatly? Obviously, my girls are not in alignment. We're not in alignment with each other. Oh, why would I destroy my peace and my daughter's peace over clothes on the floor? Do you guys get me?

Speaker 1:

Sometimes our minds get lost in the trivial stuff that we make, bigger things that destroy peace, destroy happiness in Relationships, that are pointless, and it's like the destruction of two people in the same place when they should be in harmony and Building together. See, a lot of people get lost in the trivial stuff, like a sock on the floor Oh, how come you didn't do the dishes the way that I wanted you to do the dishes? Oh well, how come you didn't wax the window this way when I wanted you to wax it this way? you get me Who cares, who cares, and this was sort of my therapy and it's just like no, it's not my battle today. I'm gonna leave that room messy, see you later and I just close the door behind me. Right, i just close the door behind me and and I tell you I am so sorry, even till to this day I'm sure I've psychologically traumatic, traumatized, especially my oldest daughter, and I've said sorry to her and I think I've shared this with you in my early 20s. I was so young mom, i didn't have the best upbringing either, but I was definitely a disciplinarian, just so. My ex was as well, and when my daughter was about eight, i had to just kneel down and look around to face. I'm so sorry, i'm so sorry, i can't undo any of this, but by that time it's already imprinted. Right, and thank you, shannon, but that time it's already imprinted and it's does impact Relationship.

Speaker 1:

Let's fast forward into your adulthood relationship. Who cares if there is a splatter of sauce on the stove? Oh, my gosh, oh story time. I'm gonna tell you. I went to a friend's house actually last year and My friend invited me and another girlfriend to go to her house. They cooked dinner, we all had dinner and wine and her husband was coming home from work but he got home late. No, she's, we've been cooking And he's, he's actually ex-military. So I get it, man, i just sat there and he walks in. He did not say hi, he recognized the sauce that was splattered on the stove and he was so hung up over that and you just feel the energy get Heavy in the room. And I know that's a silent, passive, aggressive move. But I saw my friend sort of just crushed and she went around to him. She's like honey, i was gonna clean that. He was like we should be cleaning this right away.

Speaker 1:

I get it is the conditioning of military, right. They're structure, there's discipline, and sometimes people don't know how to separate that. It works in organizations, right. It works in business. It works in the military. It doesn't translate well in households, right. But here I make a point of how do you show up for your relationships with your children and how do you show up for your relationship with your partners, and how do you rob each other of joy, how do you rob each other of really focusing on the positive things of life when you're focused on trivial things that don't contribute to your happiness? So what, if you ask me to do it this way? you should be happy I did it. Why would you be upset that I didn't do it your way? Why is not my way Acceptable? and this is where this like disconnect happens. People self-destruct from within.

Speaker 1:

Projecting Can you learn from, maybe, some of the things that you didn't like done to you when you were growing up? Right, and we do this unconsciously when we project and it's our experience, and sometimes that's our only experience and we don't know how else to show up. But this is where, again, you have a choice. Well, i remembered when I did something for someone and I thought I did a great job and but they didn't. They didn't appreciate it and that crushed me. It's sort of just trusting the other person. If they're gonna do it for you, they show up. However they show up. And it's not to your liking, appreciate that it was done anyway. It doesn't matter. It wasn't to your liking, maybe it was off. Let's just say the dishwasher. Don't look at how the dishes were loaded, just look at the clean dishes. And and Jane, yes, how do we change that behavior? It's just sort of like what I'm sharing here.

Speaker 1:

Well, the example of the dishes. Only you can see the dishes, absolutely. Let's say, your partner decided I'm gonna help you put the dishes in the washer and then you the cycles, then you open the dishes. Some people will not see the clean dishes. What they will see is how come the dishes weren't put in right? And then this is where the disconnect happens. And then someone might say like I can't believe. How many times have I showed you how to put the dishes in the dishwasher, but missing the fact that the person did it for you and missing the fact that the dishes are clean? And guess what? What if, let's say, you found three plates and two spoons not entirely clean. Now it's sort of like oh, oh, my gosh, this is horrible. When there were 20, 30 other pieces in the dishwasher that's perfectly clean. Oh, it's one of those things like well, okay, let me take this out then. Honey, thank you so much for doing the dishes. Put the dishes away Instead of being a detriment.

Speaker 1:

How can you continue to be of support to see the good things that are being done right, versus looking for perfection and missing the entire? the action that someone provided for you? Right, it's the level of perfection and the expectation. But the thing is, you have to recognize the effort. You have to recognize and this is sort of like overturning that Are you going to battle and destroy your peace in a household with someone when they're actually making effort and showing up? It might not be how you show, you expect them to show up from A to Z, but they show up for you in their own way A to Z, and it's just a matter of like oh my gosh, be grateful and thankful for the effort, versus because EGT was off and you have done this wrong. You have done this wrong and the other person's just crushed, right Person's just crushed and it's just like well, i guess I won't do anything And it's. This is a maternal or paternal projection of the person, because this is how they were conditioned and the expectations.

Speaker 1:

Again, this is all generational stuff. What you've been seeing, what you've seen, even conditioning and even training Same thing. There are certain things that you have to adjust. Again. You are your own vehicle, like being rigid perfectionist. Great works great in software development, works great in cybersecurity, works great in engineering, works great And it's like it works great in those environments. Do not impose it on people. It doesn't work that way. People are not in engineering. When you're in your interpersonal relationships, it's imposing those quality control stuff in business, in aerospace, in the military, in law enforcement on to children, on to your spouse. And some of it, again, is generational.

Speaker 1:

How can you learn to shift? Right now I'm driving my car. Yes, i have to follow certain rules of the road right, but now I'm at home. I don't need to be such a perfectionist. I don't need to uphold my children and my spouse to the highest level of perfectionism standard. But how can I move in grace and love and appreciate and build in support? Because it's one of those things that when people, when people come together and then they project and self-impose and nitpick on irrelevant things. You're taking away from you creating better outcomes. It's taking you away from your own growth and your development and your healing. It's taking you away from really focusing on good goals, because now you're in a household with people that you're irritated with and you don't wanna do anything and you're just waiting to get on each other's throats because someone didn't wipe the sauce off the stove.

Speaker 1:

I share this awareness, because this is how people end up getting stuck in life, holding on to the conditioning that were passed down to them. Again, no one's fault. But now we have awareness. Now we have awareness, mindset, check what's really going on. How can I choose better for myself?

Speaker 1:

I went through this in my 20s, in my 30s, i was in a 28 year relationship and I had two daughters and then running a tech company for 15 years And I literally had to also let go of as a leader. And here's the thing self-leadership. If you don't think about it, it's just like, well, i'm not a leader of anything. Well, no, self-leadership is self-leadership of self. And how well do you know yourself? in order to Have a better experience and show up for people better, in a energy of support, energy of love and grace versus nitpicking and destruction. Right, instead of nitpicking and destruction. And a lot of people don't realize. They think that, oh my gosh, my spouse irritates me because blah, blah, blah And there's.

Speaker 1:

I can't possibly again cover all the nuances in a relationship, but just from a basic standpoint, sometimes you just gotta don't battle with the dishes, don't battle with the socks on the floor, don't battle if there are streaks on the mirror in your bathroom. Appreciate that someone made an effort to clean the damn mirror, right. But do you guys get where I'm going with this? It's like people are losing their minds and their peace and happiness over things that are irrelevant. That's not gonna add value in your life. Then if you go, wow, there's streaks. Oh my gosh, i appreciate my partner so much. They made the effort to clean the mirror, but he missed a spot. It's cool, i got it right. You see this approach, i got it, instead of saying I can't believe you don't know how to freaking clean a mirror. And, jeanette, this is where you can adjust, because I was that. I was that girl. Jeanette, don't feel bad, we've all done this. I was that girl in my 20s. I was that girl in my 20s. So you know I'm 45 years old and it's that it's sort of just shifting.

Speaker 1:

When you and this is the trigger mindset check what's really going on Self awareness, self-intunement, self-management, impulse control, apply yourself over and over again in order for you to increase your emotional and personal maturity, adding more love, nurturing the environment and the space that you live in, versus being that authoritarian and perfection, you got to ask yourself where did it come from? How did I? how? and you know what It's control. It's control. It's a way for you to feel safe, and it's all unconscious And you don't realize it until now. The two people in a household don't like each other, right? So it's that. Don't. Don't beat yourself up. Now I have awareness. Mine's a check. Now I have awareness. Now that I have this awareness, now I know what my former negative, negative behavioral traits when I get triggered right, when I get triggered now. Instead, i'm gonna approach it with gratefulness That this is sort of my.

Speaker 1:

My starting point of this conversation and I expanded on this is people are living life like zombies and a lot of people get stuck in the four corners of their home with the person that they chose to be their partner and they're stuck Now, they're limited. Now they're bickering at each other about a freaking sauce that wasn't picked up right away, while the wife was entertaining guests and the husband walks in the house being a perfectionist, neat, freak and the guys completely unconscious about this and thinks that it needs to be to his liking, everything has to be to his liking. It's this military background. I see the dynamic here. I see the dynamic here. It's all too, all too predictable.

Speaker 1:

Oh, it's one of those things where you have to apply now yourself, in real-time mindset, check. It is a conditioning. But at the same time, is your conditioning helpful to your current situation? Is it even helpful to your current life? your household, is it even appropriate? Are you imposing quality control, assurance of military standards in their bunkers, where there are a hundred other men who live in that bunker and obviously you have to maintain order right And people are programmed to sort of like yes, it's hard coded to me and now I'm going to step into my household and all my kids have to be in the military as well with me, and my wife too, has to be in the military with me.

Speaker 1:

It's such a normal thing. But it shouldn't be. And I'm just saying awareness. It's so hurtful to people. Net. He says my kids still don't talk to me.

Speaker 1:

Here's the thing Different tracks and for us, when it's sort of this release, we don't own anyone. We have free will. If your kids this is how I look If my kids decide they don't want to be a part of my life right now, i have to let them be because they're also going through their life path. I need to release myself from that so I can work on myself and focus on productive things. It's the same concept with getting hung up on the wrong things, right, even though it's this one's tender and more difficult, because they're my babies. They came from my belly, i've experienced them here, with all the morning sickness and all right And women you guys know what I'm talking about here. The bond is like your body and I'm still sort of I'm feeling really strong right now. I'm not crying and I'm not in tears, but at the same time, it's sort of like if they decide to fly away in a different direction, sort of like out of the nest, they're okay, let them fly, and if they come back, then they'll come back on their own, but just know, okay, well, i've done my part. Now, what can I do? What can I do to just focus on what I need to focus on, because I've done my job right And so that's the only approach, because, yes, there's going to feel like guilt, people are going to shame you.

Speaker 1:

Well, you're a bad mother because you left and now there must be a reason why your children are not talking to you. They don't know. There's billions of people here. People just want to put a blanket situation that if that happens to you, you must be a horrible person, when in reality, every single one of us, we intake and perceive different things. We yeah, you're right, we have to let them go, no matter what. We don't own them. They're only. You, are only the vessel. As a parent, whether you're a father or a mother, the soul has to pass through a vessel and that is you, and I'm speaking spiritual here. Now, once the baby is out, you care for the baby, father and mother, right, and they grow up and if they're still with you, great, that's part of your soul script together for a bunch of us out there, we do this, right, we do this, and they grow and they're like I hate you. That's also our script, by the way. That's also our script. But damn, that hurts. We don't expect that. But here's the thing is, sort of right now, in this season, this is where we part ways, and I honor, i honor that individual And worst case scenario.

Speaker 1:

What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Keep fighting with them, begging them to come back into your life? That's only going to push them away even further, right? Elaine, definitely didn't expect that. I didn't expect it. That was worse than my divorce for an entire year. I still cry. It's a tender subject, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

And again, there's some people who don't care about their children And there are so many different storylines. We cannot possibly say you're a bad person because that happened to you. And guess what? Nobody owns anyone, and even in relationships, why do people want to possess people? Let them go, release them. That way, you can start experiencing a better experience for yourself. I'm gonna put that subject to rest.

Speaker 1:

But basically, the point of all of this was hey, how are you showing up as your best self for yourself and for your important relationships in life? But it's that it's like you do. At the end of the day, this journey Yes, you are with other people, but this journey is about you. This life is a you journey And in different stages of life, whether it's like Sean's parents, they've been together for 46 years and they plan to rock and roll for however long that they have together. But I know that didn't come without any challenges. But it takes effort, it takes work, it takes commitment, it takes respect And a lot of people now in their relationships don't even respect themselves, Don't even, can't even talk it out right, don't have the awareness, living in trauma.

Speaker 1:

Now is it your fault? No, but it will be your fault once you have awareness and awakening to what's happening and you're not doing anything about it. You have volunteered yourself in that experience. That's on you. If you decide you're going to stay in the home of the living dead, then assume all of the risks to be living in that home of the living dead. Or do you decide to choose yourself and create a different path and live a life worth living and waking up to every single day? right? That's my message for you guys tonight. Thank you. And if you are in loving relationships but you have just taken a look at the situation the wrong way and you haven't done healing and work in yourself to awaken to yourself and to become mature and pick better, then do something different. Now, if you are in a place where your maybe life is not so bad, you just need to retweak your mindset and start appreciating, so that way you can be happier.

Speaker 1:

But a lot of us need to detox from generational conditioning. That, and you're very welcome, cheryl, think about generational conditioning. How are you projecting Annoyingly and becoming exactly your generational conditioning? Hi Boots, all right guys, thank you, you're very welcome. Tko Luxurious Boutique. If you guys want to work with me as a life coach or as a numerologist, katanyanovacom, i really do appreciate. You're very welcome, jamie. You're very welcome. Think about it this way. This is me to. Am I choosing a path of destruction right now? Or how do I handle this with peace? And a lot of it, to be honest with you, is self-management. It doesn't even you don't even need to involve anyone else. You do not need to involve anyone else, and a lot of it is just like I am choosing my happiness today. Thank you very much. Bye, see you later.

Speaker 1:

Socks, Right, and, to be honest with you, for me, i have to get goofy with myself. It's sort of like cartoon right Self-management, right D. It's about self-management And this is how I like for me in my mind. That's why I have such a imagination, and I've always been. I'm a highly creative person. I've always been imaginative since I was a little girl. But it's sort of just like that Oh my gosh, that my good dragon, oh I've got.

Speaker 1:

I've done therapy for a long time too with my ex, and part of those things that pop up in relationships are either your gremlins or your dragons. So gremlins are those little right, Those little things that I was telling you guys about, like that nitpicking shit that don't amount to anything other than the destruction of the relationship and two people trying to really be in a loving relationship but having awakened that they're not moving in love in a relationship. Those are your gremlins, the dragon, the dragons are. So for me, the dragon was the narcissistic abuse. The dragon in the relationship was the control, was the suppression, and for me, the way that I slayed that dragon is to walk away and choose myself.

Speaker 1:

And one of the things is like, when I see these little things as obstacles, like you do have to sort of be light about it with yourself, and it's just like oh my gosh, here I am going AWOL again over a piece of shit that's not gonna pay my bills, that's not gonna make me happy, that's not going to make my, my household, peaceful. This is how you make those little gremlins and dragons in your life disappear. It's simply by just picking better and say, alright, well, i'm gonna pick up the shoes and I'm choosing my happiness today and I'm putting the shoe back. I don't need to yell at my children, right, And this is again you're having to self-manage yourself. Alright, guys, well, thank you once again.

Speaker 1:

This is my last goodbye. Love you all. Thank you for following me if you are a new friend and a new follower, and for my friends, i'm gonna say it again you deserve the life you create, because no one else can do this for you but yourself. To volunteer yourself in a hurtful experience. You volunteer yourself in creating something better for yourself. Have a good night everyone. Love you all. Take care. Bye now.